Good Enough!

I remember when I was studying in school I used to write diary every day night before sleeping. And I distinctly remember writing I’m not a good enough daughter and a good enough sister. Because I had a fight with my parents and brother I went to my room and bawled my eyes out while writing it. Good enough? Now that is an extremely strange phrase to be used by a 14 year old. That’s what I think so too. Years passed by and there are so many times in a day I think whether I’m a good daughter to my parents, a good sister, a good wife, a good friend etc. Most of the days I end up with the conclusion that I’m not even close to it. The self-analysis that we do most of the times deteriorate our confidence to such an extend that we try to find happiness in sympathizing with ourselves.

When Bigshot and I fight, most of the times it never crosses more than 2 hours of him trying to figure out why I’m angry or what he did wrong and it always ends well, thanks to his I-need-to-fix-every-fight attitude. But there are times we fight and I go to a dark place. A very dark place. That’s when I start over-criticizing every single incident and then I come to the conclusion that I’m not in fact GOOD ENOUGH. This happens every time I go through some relationship hurdles. Every.Single.Time. I sympathize with this helpless, sad and boring person so much that I get disgusted with myself. And today I want to stop that. I want to love myself more than anybody. I remember reading a quote by someone famous that said and I quote  “If you can’t love yourself, how do you expect others to love you?”

And then there are few such quotes that pushes the same idea like these

I know for a fact that this is not going to be an easy road to being successful at it. But it is vital to do certain things that can help you reach that place. And I’m writing down all the things that one needs to do to boost your self-confidence and to start loving yourself.

1) Look at the mirror and tell yourself every single thing you are grateful for.- I know it sound awfully funny but trust me it helps to say it out loud everything you have in life and how much you value it.
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2) Take 1 hour at least to pamper yourself every day.- Just ignore everything that is happening with you, the responsibilities, the commitments and the daily routine and focus only on pampering yourself. It can be a hobby project, something new you always wanted to learn or even starting a bucket list/fuck it list (I’ll get to that in details on a later post)

3) Taking care of your health.- This is an absolute no brainer. I see mothers skipping their meal because their child has to sleep in her arms at that time. I see Indian wives skipping their meals waiting for the husband to come and eat first. Don’t take me wrong for saying it but your children or husband or whoever it is are not going to be always there with you when you need them. You are always a priority and nobody should know that more than you.

4) When in stress, de-stress.- If a situation arises where you feel like shit, just stop thinking so much into it for the first couple of hours instead hear some music, watch you favorite tv show or a movie. Just stop thinking. Okay?

I’ve listed down all these points for myself and I’ll make sure I follow up with it regularly and if anybody has anything interesting to be added to this list, let me know. For what is worth, I’ve a huge crush on me at the moment 😉 Have a good day everybody!