Flawsome Fridays

After writing unsolicited advices and giving you rants on how to deal with life, love and everything under the sun, most of you assumed that I’m a very mature person who has set her priorities straight and knows her shit. In fact, even my mother whom I speak to everyday told me that she didn’t know that I had turned out to be such a fine young lady who is leading her life gracefully like an adult. Well, my mother wants to believe that I’ve grown up to be such a sensible woman but I’m the last person on the Earth to be anything but perfect.

Do you know what flawsome means? Well, sometime back I didn’t know a word was coined from flaw and awesome until one of my friend sent me this image;

 

And it got me into thinking whether it’s possible that finally everyone has started accepting their flaws as a beautiful character trait and not something to feel ashamed of? During my schooling and college days it was not so appreciated to speak about your flaws, but there were these questions like ‘what are your strengths and weaknesses’ in the corporate world during interviews and most of them answered it with “I’m not a team-player” or “l’m a workaholic” when they have actually had no experience of working in a corporate world. Even for job interviews it was difficult for us to be straightforward and answer a simple question. So what are the chances that in life we understand our flaws completely and decide to accept the ones that make us who we are.

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You see, when I wrote about the things to do daily to be positive or about how to be a good parent to children and many such posts, I don’t want you to think I’m doing everything that I’ve written or I’m that person who gave you those advices. I’m neither the most positive person nor I’m flawless. Those that I write are the things I wish to achieve now or in someday and some are just work in progress. I’ve failed 1st grade. There I said it! My parents still like to believe it was the lack of attendance in school that I had to repeat but a girl knows when she has failed 😉 I was an extremely sad kid while growing up and nobody knew what was going on in my head because I never spoke about any of it. I was sad about the fact that my mom left me with my grandparents to go to work, which I assumed to my parents romancing around. Was that her fault? Absolutely not! During a period of time I even convinced myself that I was adopted. I felt like I was a burden to everyone around me and I was shallow to believe that being ugly was the reason nobody wanted to be close to me. I made everything so negative in such a young age that my confidence to even make friends when I started school was too hard. I hardly had any friends in primary school and even if I had any friend there would be only one person and she wouldn’t even be close friend. She would be someone who sits on my side so I considered her to be my friend and tell everyone in my family that she is my friend. I’ve never spoken about it but that’s actually the truth.

As years passed by I still had no friends and soon I started making friends who are exactly like me,introverted and shy. We were a gang of 3 or 4 people who are awfully quiet in class and hardly interacted with the rest of the class. I did change drastically by the time I started my 11th grade and slowly started opening up but whenever I get too close to somebody  I’ll just assume they are going to get bored of me and leave. So what would I do? I would stop talking to them and give them the “space”. And most of them never stuck around to find out why I gave them space and left. And I can’t blame them either, they were kids like me who wanted to make friends. So my assumptions by now came out to be true and I kept doing exactly that. Right now, I hardly have two or three friends whom I can call anytime and talk to about anything. Hardly 3. Maybe not even that many. But I do have so many wonderful friends around me but I’m not close to anyone and nobody is close to me. The moment I get close to someone I feel like they know me so well and soon they are going to be done with me, so let me just leave before they leave me. See now asI’m writing down this, I don’t know whether I should call them my flaws or me being a total cuckoo. 😀

I accept I’ve issues and I’ve so many such flaws that I’ll talk about more in the blog, but I don’t want to worry anymore about what others would think of me. This insecurities that I have started from the time I remember my mother going in a scooter with my dad to office, poor woman didn’t even know I felt like this in fact she was doing what any woman should be doing. But as a kid I couldn’t understand any of it and I think I was too scared of people leaving me from there on. It’s still a work in progress and I’ve made some horrible mistakes and life choices because of such insecurities. Now I’ve learned and accepted my flaws I feel like it’s not too late to work on it. And as I work on it, I would like to take you along with me on that journey but for that I can’t be left hanging alone. I need you to think about your flaws and share them with me or someone you want to. It’s a liberating experience to finally accept what has been your biggest weakness of your life and learning from it and holding on to the ones that make you special. It doesn’t have to be such a complicated flaw like I mentioned, but speaking about even the smallest one like digging your nose can make a difference to your life. 😀 So be happy, be flawed, make mistakes and love yourself even more. 🙂

Have a beautiful weekend my favorites #FlawsomeFridays