You’re what you choose.

“Why aren’t you writing anything?”

“I’ve the writer’s block!”

“Is that a group?”

“What?”

“Writer’s Block..”

“It’s a feeling you get when you are unable to think or write in a flow.”

“Oh! I knew that.”

“No, you didn’t.”
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“That’s true.”

***

This actually happened yesterday morning. Bigshot might be a guy who can stare into a computer till the white letters and characters on the screen makes logical sense, but he is not the guy you should turn to if you want to expand your knowledge of your vocabulary. The word he constantly loves to use is ‘vexed’  because that is the only word he knows how to use in a sentence and make sense of it. “I’m feeling vexed.” “It’s vexing with my mind” etc are few of his favorite ways to use the word. Because I love him, I find it adorable that he uses ‘vex’ everytime  he wants to sound serious. That’s Bigshot for you, simple yet complicated.

Now, my brain is almost half the size of his brain because not a day goes by when I don’t imagine thinking of what he does on a day to day basis at work and not have a panic attack over it. Not a day goes by when I see him working and studying with such enthusiasm and passion while I passionately try to get a seed stuck in between my teeth. If his brain is a melon size, mine would most probably be a questionable sized peanut. Imagine my surprise when he would keep asking me the meaning of the words I said, only to forget it again and ask me the same question after a few months. It’s not like vocabulary is the only area he lags behind. He also doesn’t get the lingo, phrases and terminologies which he also thinks shouldn’t exist. Once in between a fight we were having, I lost him in his thoughts just because I said a word he couldn’t understand the meaning to.

Same thing happens if I try to talk to him in Hindi or Malayalam. Clearly, language isn’t his strongest suit and a person who still can’t barely understands the basic algebraic equations, I understand where it is coming from. It’s coming from a place, deep dark in your brain that coincidentally connects to your interest and disconnects completely to something you find less fascinating. My father always told me that “Algebra is the most useless thing to learn which has no practical use in the real world.” Yes, he was consoling me while I cried my eyes out showing him my failed math paper result for him to sign on. Maybe he was right, I don’t have any practical use with anything I learned in math. But for an enthusiastic, brilliant math student, it can change his life around. What matters at the end of the day is what you decide to do with your life. Whether you follow your instincts and do what you love or try to run a rat race you know you’re going to quit eventually. Many of you are going to write your exams or are in the process of finishing your exams and from everything I’ve seen in the past 28 frikking years of my life is that you have choices. Choices from which you can choose to do what you find is your place in life. You might not be good with words like Bigshot, but you might be brilliant at something totally different. You might not be doing anything that you learned in your school or college, but that doesn’t mean you are any less talented in something else. You know you have made a bad choice, when a person like me tries to be a scientist or a person like Bigshot tries to be a motivational speaker. Speaking of motivation, Bigshot is so bad at giving a pep talk when I’m feeling down that he would start treating me like an animal by giving me treats and tickling my chin. Now that I’m used to his version of a pep talk, I go along with it, but I know for damn sure that he can’t be making a living off of being a motivational speaker.

Remember never to feel like you’re entitled to everything in this world, but at the same time always try to earn for what you rightfully deserve. I’ve seen a woman who thought a phrase she used in her blog deserves to be used only by her and by others with her permission and I’ve seen a woman who creates beautiful oil paintings, only to hide it under her cupboard as long as nobody tries to find them there. Until I chew your head with my time consuming rants about almost everything, bye!! 🙂 Have a good day/night!