Being alone feat. Being lonely

The world is a funny place and I mean it in the most sarcastic way possible. From the time I could remember, I always carried the house key to my home in my school bag. When we left my mother’s hometown to settle somewhere further away from everyone we know, I knew that my grandmother wasn’t going to be our neighbor anymore, who would  take my brother and I to our home and give us food in the evenings after school. When I was in my 7th grade, the responsibility to go to my house and heat up my food became my own when at the same time my brother was  busy managing being a 10th grader with exams and studies all year round only to return home late from longer school hours and tuitions.

I loved the time I spent alone after coming back from school because I got to watch T.V and eat my food without anybody bothering me about anything. I never felt lonely because I would make up stories in my head and talk to myself as a third person. Because we left my hometown and came somewhere completely different, it took many years for me to absorb the new environment and actually start making friends. So I found solitude in the school library and that’s when I started loving books because they took me to a world where I was surrounded by people, friends and new adventures. The books were my safe zone. I used to watch almost every English t.v shows during those times, including shows like, The Hogan family, Full House, Caroline in the city and many more only to find myself itching to converse with people in English. Growing up in Kerala, many of my friends hated speaking in English even when our school imposed English as a strict mode of conversation. Even when I tried speaking to my classmates and friends in English, most of the times, it backfired or I would mumble and gulp down words in my mouth. My friends with whom I spoke in English were at home with a set of Barbie dolls, a gigantic teddy bear and my imaginary friend, Akash. Those four hours alone in the house everyday gave me so much more than I could have asked for. I was able to enjoy reading, I was able to understand conversations in English better, I was able to live in a happy make believe world and I was able to stay alone without feeling lonely. In fact, now whenever my mother feels sad, thinking about having to had left me alone in the house at a young age, I still find myself missing those school days where I had no worry in the world( except maybe the occasional math homeworks and the exams) and I had plenty of ‘me time’ to spare in the evenings.

It also offers effective treatment for super active cialis diabetes. Therefore, you are advised to consume Spermac capsules regularly to increase semen production viagra prescription naturally. Severe cases can go soft cialis to the hospital to consult a doctor. It received FDA approval in cialis in australia 1998. Now when I’m actually alone at home the whole day when Bigshot leaves for work, I don’t get lonely nor I feel sad because, firstly, the work I’ve on a daily basis never stops and secondly, I love the free time when I can spend with myself, for myself. Of course I don’t make up stories with my Barbie dolls and imaginary friends anymore, but I don’t feel the need to always surround myself with people either. No matter how many people you’re surrounded by, you can get lonely and I’ve felt lonely in a classroom filled with students, I’ve felt lonely on the bus rides during my college days and there were many such places where I felt like I neither belonged nor connected. Unfortunately, I know the drawbacks of being alone because there are times, when you will feel like the whole world is conspiring against you and you have nobody to turn to. I don’t put myself in a position or place where I feel like I’m in a dark and lonely place but I do know many men and women in my life who feel the same. The sad part is, there are many people out there who feels lonely even when they are surrounded my people because they are emotionally and mentally detached from everything and everyone around them. There are people who feels so helpless and directionless with their life that they feel like loneliness will kill them one day at a time. There are women who find themselves unable to figure out what to do with their life when they are alone and there are elders who doesn’t feel motivated everyday because of a certain lack of purpose in life. I might not be a good friend who always keeps and maintains a relationship, but I’ll always be there for anyone who is feeling lonely. Because I know how it is like to be alone and happy and also how it would feel to be in a crowd and be lonely. Know that you’re not alone and you’re not the first to feel lonely in this world and if you ever find yourself in the company of a person who needs your support, don’t forget to lend a hand. The world would be a much better place if we are kind to one another. Remember, that loneliness doesn’t always have to be about being alone. It also doesn’t mean being alone cannot be fun 🙂