Chances are so many of you will disagree with me, but I’m ready to take that chance. If Greensboro was a person instead of a place, he or she would have been the dullest dud that has ever rolled around on this planet. Yes, the place has that beautiful view, fresh air and a peaceful vibe, but nothing about it excites a young couple (IF I may call ourselves that) who got over it’s scenic beauty in a month’s time. So what do we do? We mop around the house and do the usual of watching television, reading and eating our hearts out. You know how our weekends are! So imagine our excitement when somebody decides to visit us at our home with whom we can chill and talk crap about Greensboro? Okay, that’s not true. Imagine MY excitement when somebody decides to visit us at our home with whom we can chill and talk crap about Greensboro.
You see, I’m not a natural at making friends, It doesn’t come with a flow unless and until I meet someone of the same weirdness level. So till then I tend to breathe down my guest’s neck, constantly asking them whether they are having fun. You don’t ask people whether they are having fun IF you want them to actually have fun. See, I know all that, but I sill do what I do when I meet those couples. It’s like a natural reaction for me. If it’s a friend that Bigshot has invited, I’ll start preparing for their visit at least two days in advance. I’ll extra clean the house to protect the potential-couple-friends from dust and allergies. Then, I’ll make sure I make a scrumptious meal filled with enough nutrients and goodness of their preference.
“Are they allergic to something?” I ask.
“I don’t know.” Bigshot says.
“Are they vegetarians?”
“I don’t know.”
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“No idea.”
“What do YOU know then?”
“That two humans are coming over to our house to just hang out.”
“Do they prefer freshly squeezed juice, tea or coffee?”
Basically I ask too many questions before they even arrive that Bigshot slowly loses interest in the whole thing of inviting people over. Talking about Bigshot, he ain’t so perfect either. The moment the guests arrives to the time they leave, he will crack jokes to which he laughs the most. The others simply humor him because they are the guest and I just stare him down until he quits. Not that being funny is an issue, if God forbid one of the guest asks him about his so-called-office, he will give them a tour, orientation and a speech about everything boring about it. And sooner or later he will start showing them his favorite documentaries and rocket launch videos only to scare them further away. Before they start making up excuses to escape from our house, I ask them whether they are having fun and keep giving them food and things to please and distract them so that they will stay. And the mere pressure of entertaining and the strain from the preparations I took before their arrival will hit the roof when I stop interacting completely and Bigshot can’t stop talking about remote controlled cars anymore. So the guests flee. They flee far away from us. Some obviously gets too intimidated, some gets overwhelmed and some even gets scared for their lives a little bit. But every time somebody leaves our house, we are oblivious of the fact that they literally jolted away from us and we give each other a high-five as our celebratory sign. We come to know that the couple actually ran away from us when we hear nothing from them afterwards. Having said all that, we are looking for goofy, fun and weird ass couples who can take our craziness, where watching documentaries and answering fun questions should not be a problem. Untill then, bring it on people. This weekend, we are having some people over and let the preparations begin! LOL! What are your plans for this weekend? 🙂
Author: Lakshmi Geeth
I’m an ordinarily odd person who is pleasant to talk to. When I’m not trying to be funny, I would be lying on the floor bawling my eyes out. I write weird stories, real life snippets, traumatic and dramatic memories along with doses of unsolicited advices. 🙂
