Jokes about the teeth

When I was in school, I have heard many comments about my physical appearance and one of them that I distinctly remember was “Hey Lakshmi, You know it looks like you have tried to put a gazillion teeth into your mouth and rinsed them around that now they are cemented everywhere in your gum.” I appreciated the creative imagination and straight-forwardness of that person and that day after going back home, I stood in front of the mirror to smile and scared the living hell out of me. I had two teeth on both the sides of my upper jaw, like the fangs of a vampire, waiting to cut into some fleshy blood. The lower bottom set of teeth looked like the seating arrangement teachers made to divide girls and boys in a class, one row for girls and another for boys.
 
During high school I started wearing braces on my teeth to level them out and the dentist after the first check-up wanted to remove four perfectly healthy teeth. It still haunts me to this day the sound I heard of nerves cracking around the teeth and what was more disturbing was the enthusiasm I saw in the dentist’s face while he yanked them all out, like the Little Red Riding Hood plucking the flowers in the forest. I was sent to the dentist office after the aftermath for the follow-up instructions and he decided to say something like this before I left “Hey, Your teeth are very strong and well-rooted, It was difficult for me to take them all off, hahahah.” My face was unrecognizable from all the cotton balls I had stuffed in my ‘bloody’ mouth, but I did gave him a thumbs up. Dentist should never try to be funny, obviously they are going get grumpy customers, why do they even bother? And most of the times they want to crack jokes and have small talk while stabbing and poking on our teeth. So convenient.
 
Anyway, after two years of braces and several dental check ups, I decided to never EVER step foot in a dental clinic. Except when I am 90 years old and I need dentures to do exactly what this Grand mom did on her birthday in this video:
 

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Apparently nothing works according to your plan, shocking, I know. After coming to US, within four months I had severe pain around my lower teeth. I decided to gargle with warm water and salt to calm the nerves and ease the pain but it did not have a lasting effect. Every time Bigshot decided to book a dentist appointment, I immediately told him “You know, actually it is getting better.” Soon the pain turned into a swelling of the cheeks and Bigshot became a “Bigshot” and called the dentist and fixed an appointment without my approval.
 
When we reached the dentist office, I kept irritating Bigshot with my fidgeting that I ended up sitting alone for 5 minutes in a corner chair. just kidding. Soon after they took few x-rays of my teeth and the check up the dentist confirmed that I have ruptured wisdom teeth. And since its well, ME, I have FOUR ruptured wisdom teeth and all of them needs to be removed. I  haven’t removed my wisdom teeth yet as my pain had drastically vanished after having the antibiotics and I also make sure that I keep them clean and germs free. But I just cannot seem to forget what the dentist told me  after asking me to take the wisdom teeth off, “You know, you have strong and well-rooted teeth, so that’s one good thing hahahha.” Let’s just say I was thankful that Bigshot was standing near me when he told me that piece of joke.
 
Have a happy weekend guys, and remember to brush your teeth, twice 🙂
 

Author: Lakshmi Geeth

I’m an ordinarily odd person who is pleasant to talk to. When I’m not trying to be funny, I would be lying on the floor bawling my eyes out. I write weird stories, real life snippets, traumatic and dramatic memories along with doses of unsolicited advices. 🙂

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