Wallowing in my thoughts

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and you would know the kind of Christmas I had if you had seen my Facebook page and Instagram stories. Bigshot is working from home for one week and the excitement is too much for my body to handle. In fact I do my customary Chandler Bing dance on every single occasion starting from parties to after-parties to sometimes exclusively for the people around me. I can pull of this dance even when I’m upset and it instantly brings me back into a better mood.

Yesterday I posted a story on the blog only to take it down a few hours later. I was going through some things which was questioning the existence of the blog and whether I need to continue what I’m doing. It was a complete meltdown. I weeped and cried like a little girl while Bigshot cursed his lucky stars on the day he decided to work from home. Okay that’s a joke, he was extremely considerate and he even took me for a ride that cheered me up.

According to me a writer should be someone who doesn’t get bothered by what others think and feel about them and writes with a certain authority and freedom over it. I, on the other hand, is still a work-in-progress, I easily get affected when someone labels me as a certain particular person just because I wrote about a particular topic or a particular person. If a person who hates my guts reads what I write here, they are going to find a million reasons to hate me even more. If a person who is over-protective of my image reads the blog, they are going to get many more reasons to worry over what others might think of me. If a person who has already judged my character reads everything I write, they will find fault in every single sentence. I might come off as an arrogant person for writing about someone who bullied me, I might come off as a person who doesn’t value traditions if I talk about the so called tabooed topics in a particular society and I might even become a certain person to a few who thinks what I do in this blog as juvenile and far too progressive.

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I spoke to two people regarding this yesterday and one is Aishwarya, who is an amazing blogger and a friend of mine and she told me and I quote “‘stand up for yourself and be in your own la la land.” And the other person is my brother who told me “You have a medium to express what you want and as a writer you shouldn’t give any explanations to people who feels the need to judge you.” When I think about everyone who enjoys my blog and gets what I write, I truly feel the urge to continue what I do. Thank you for the love you beautiful people! 🙂

Moving forward, I’ll refrain myself from talking and thinking about the negativity that follows this small blog and continue focusing on the good energy and vibe that I get from the rest of you. And please understand that I’m pretty smart enough to know the difference between someone who wishes good for me and someone who needs to hurt me. So I would still like to continue and start getting feedbacks from everyone who wishes me good. I would really like that.

So as I do my Chandler dance move around the entire house thinking about a better plan to spend the New Year’s Eve rather than sitting in house like a sack of poop, here’s wishing you the best last three days of 2016. I’m not into making any new year resolutions but if you have, do let me know, it’s always fun to see how many of you stick to it 😀 Have a good day/night everyone 🙂