The things I’ve to deal with!

We stay in a apartment community where there are so many apartment buildings spread across a vast area. So you would understand my disappointment when we have just a single place to dump our trash. And of course where would they keep that place for us to go and dispose it off? On the side to the entrance of the community! That’s a long walk from our apartment building and it’s not like I would have any problem walking 2 miles from our place, but walking in this weather with a colossal trash bag along with two other smaller ones is not a task for a single person. Nowadays the weather has become extremely cold that I get the chills even when I simply look out through the window.

Enters, the main character of this story, Bigshot! As we started becoming more health conscious for the past one month, we drink smoothies and green juices almost every day with our lunch. The only downside to that routine now is that the trash load has increased drastically. Every week by the end of it, I’ve a brimming trash can which is stuffed to its maximum capacity into a black bag that there is no more room for another leaf! So imagine my frustration when he comes home late on a Thursday evening and tells me it isn’t possible to throw the trash. His excuses are either it’s too dark outside, it’s too cold or sometimes without saying anything he would make these feeble noises puppies make when they are asked to keep quiet.

Before all this, we had a trash area near to our apartment block and when Bigshot would act like a snooty lil puppy, I take things into my own hands and tell him I’m going to throw the trash out all by myself. Almost always this trick has worked because immediately he will jump from his couch comforts and take his share of trash from me and we will dump them together. Now that the community has stopped giving us the good fortune of throwing trash with ease and convenience, I cannot pull off the statement that I’m going alone to throw it out and even if I tried, he is not going to believe that I’ll actually take a trash bag which is almost the same height and weight as mine for a 2 mile walk. That’s when the bargaining and compromising happens. I tell him it’s full and he will slowly walk away from me only to make excuses like, oh I have an important mail to send or an emergency bathroom situation. Every time I bring up the fact that it’s so frustrating for the residents to throw trash all the way there in this weather,  I see him retracting a 20 feet away from me as if he is keeping something explosive right on to the stove and running far away from it. And unfortunately I’m not the kind of person anybody takes seriously because even when I shout, I sound squeaky and childish, like that of a 6-year-old girl throwing tantrums at her parents for a brand new Barbie doll. So when I get angry either my cheeks are pulled or I’m told something that is supposed to be funny. My authority needed to be enforced in this house and hence I came up with a plan. I tell him the trash bag is full even before it is full, so that for the next two days I’ll get to hear his excuses of why we can’t go throw them because of the solar eclipse or the fact that crows have started preying on humans. Then when it actually starts getting full, I give him the ultimatum which obviously he cannot ignore because he knows that I’ve been asking for it for the past couple of days and nobody in their right mind ignores an ultimatum, come on! If you have read my story on how I deal with Bigshot using reverse-psychology, this is something that has worked quite effectively for the past one week.
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Obviously he is going to read it by the end of the day when he is comfortably lying on his bed and figure it all out but this shouldn’t be so difficult. Should it?  I give you ONE JOB and YOU NEED TO THROW THE TRASH OUT, VINOD! You hear me?  I don’t care if the trash area is haunted by the spirits of the voodoo dolls, I need it out of my house every week! And while we throw the trash out, remember that I’m capable of coming up with new and better plans wherein I wouldn’t even have to tag along with you. *Evil grin*

Have a good day/night peeps! 🙂